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Death. 

Yesterday, I found myself attending a funeral. Although I didn’t know the man well, having only crossed paths once or twice, the decision to be there was rooted in supporting his wife, whom I’ve come to know over the past year. Funerals, in my view, are a peculiar concept, but they serve as a beautiful way to grieve, remember, and share support with others. Perhaps it’s the casket that adds an element of strangeness, leading my mind to wander to my own unconventional wishes for a final farewell – a wooden boat, fiery darts, and the depths of the ocean, Viking style.

Yet, the funeral itself unfolded as a moving and beautiful tribute. Listening to the stories of the man’s life and witnessing snapshots from his journey left a lasting impression. I felt a pang of regret for not having the chance to know him. Still, the privilege of supporting his wife, even in small ways, is an honor. No act of kindness is insignificant.

Here was another human with an extraordinary story waiting to be shared. What I gathered from his funeral service: He was an expert mechanic. He knew engines and bodywork, and he didn’t just work on bikes; automobiles, he raced them. He liked to go fast behind the wheel, and he liked to take his time and do his work right. He cared deeply about his family, and he let them into his world completely. They were a tight-knit group. He was a little rebellious in a fun-loving way that made people laugh and feel more comfortable with him.

The number of deaths we’ve experienced in the last several years has led me to reflect on the inevitability of mortality. Specifically, two friends lost their husbands this year, and my neighbor lost her husband two years ago. Is this the fate that awaits me too? My husband, eleven years my senior, introduces the sobering reality that men often precede women in the journey of life and death. Women, resilient by nature, forge bonds and carry on. Yet, contemplating this brings forth a strange mix of thoughts – what will I do? How will I navigate that seemingly inevitable passage?

A recollection of a palm reader’s prophecy from the late ’90s surfaces in my mind – a dark and terrible illness growing within, a cancer that might claim me. She had offered a cleansing for $200, a ritual I chose not to undertake. In the unpredictable narrative of life, perhaps this choice could alter the script. I could go first, and I would welcome that, but I won’t initiate it or take my own life unless I’ve given a good cause to do so. For example, if I am standing in line behind a mother and her child at the bank and a robber comes in and needs a hostage. I would be that hostage because that would make the most sense. But only time will tell if I will get such an opportunity and how I will respond in the moment.

Returning to the funeral, its unique touch lay in the fact that it coincided with the gentleman’s birthday. The procession seamlessly transitioned into a celebration of his life. Though I couldn’t attend the birthday party due to prior commitments, the sentiment behind it resonated deeply.

As I pondered this, an idea surfaced – creating Wiki pages for departed loved ones, inviting their family and friends to contribute to a collective tribute and to celebrate the lives of those we’ve lost. To give them a space on the World Wide Web. The thought had been suggested for another departed soul, and though I loved the idea then, I’ve done nothing about it. What a beautiful way to share and preserve these stories that make each individual a legend in their own right… So, today I created a Wiki contributor account. Let’s remember!